Sociopathy

" As a girl I never felt outright anger, toward him or anyone. Mostly if things became uncomfortable I just wanted to be alone. Even when I left Texas, I didn't leave feeling mad, I left feeling elated that there was finally some quiet around me. From the time I was seven I hated Texas and most of the people I met there. I would go to sleep early so I could dream more. My father would drive us along those interstates, and it seemed to me that all there was in Houston were highways and car dealerships.

I wanted to run away, from the first time I heard of the concept, not because anything so dreadful was happening but because I craved solitude. My childhood was spent looking and waiting for a proper reason to run away [...].

Almost all my true enjoyment of people could take place from a distance. Appreciating people was easy as long as the weren't close: my father, specially. [...] Being alone was the only time my breathing would come easy. In some ways I'd felt allergic to my own life. With people talking to me, my head would swell and my skin would break out.[...] All my favorites memories didn't seem to involve anybody else. Reading, walking down the street, taking the bus, washing my clothes - inside that kind of quiet peace I could feel and enjoy my life. After Jimmy and I broke up, it was almost a relief. This way I would be able to love him forever; it would be easier. The habits I'd learned about how to survive all seemed to involve moving and solitude".

                                               Ethan Hawke, Ash wednesday